EarlyGame Talk: Why a Chainmail Bikini and Metal Suspenders Should Not Be Used as Armor!

Skyrim Sexy Armor
The realistic depiction of combat equipment is often not considered for female characters in video games. (Image Credit: Skyrim)

I have to admit that I'm the typical female gamer. When I play a new game, I usually choose a race that is aesthetically pleasing or one that offers identifying features of a female character. But why are all of them always half or even 90% naked? How sensible is a suit of armor that only covers the nipples and five square inches of the hip area?

Without wanting to start a thing here: I can understand why men prefer to spend hours looking at their female character's shapely buttocks. For me though, it's about being able to think of myself as that character. Would I go into battle wearing such little armor and be open for an attack to simply be killed? I don't think so! Also, it would just get so damn cold wearing a chain mail bikini!

Video Game Armor Logic Header
Well... not much protection, but at least it looks hot. (Image Credit: pinterest.com)

Fortunately, games give us more than enough possibilities to create and make the characters in the game look and feel just the way we want them to. So you take advantage of that, am I right?

No sooner said than done: I create my alter ego, fight my way through the tutorial, get to know the world and its NPCs, and experience the story. Slowly, I get my gear and my weapon and get into more difficult fights. But I can't help but notice that my character's armor looks completely different from my male friends' armor. Mine is so much more revealing. The male characters are tanks of metal, with only their heads sticking out. The female heroes, on the other hand, are in serious risk of catching a urinary infection.

Video Game Armor Logic2
Seriously: On the left, the outfit you wear when you take off your armor, on the right the high-level armor. (Image Credit: Tera Online)

I think I can say that every gamer has noticed that the same armor looks different on a male and a female character... I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. Imagine a huge iron armor on a petite little lady... Just a side note: Yes, yes, there are games that have all kinds of amazing gear for both male and female characters!

But still, the general 'video game logic' is not to adapt the armor to the female body, but to transform the armor into sexy lingerie. It's hard to call a piece of cloth a suit of armor!

Video Game Armor Logic
Less armor = less damage? (Image Credit: Reddit)

So if I think about it, there are even games where you see some underboob, cleavage, belly, thighs, as well as exposed legs and uncovered arms. The panties, if you can call them that, are usually also a mere thong. The bra consists of tiny triangles to cover up the nipples. Sometimes you can see a miniature shoulder pad and, of course, a choker because the neck has to be protected too, right? And then these armors have the same values as the tin cans of the male characters standing next to them.

Well, let's say you can somehow accept that the armor offers something like an invisible shield for the body... how exactly is this skimpy armor supposed to protect against the cold?

Fiore Brunelli
This outfit is pre-programmed for UTIs. (Image Credit: Star Ocean 5)

You surely know the scenario: You are entering a new area, a snow-covered landscape. It may look beautiful, but it already makes you shiver in your warm, cozy four walls - the sound of a snowstorm and the cool colors you see on your monitors complete the picture.

And there she is: your half-naked champion, who should have died of hypothermia within the first 3 minutes of entering this area. It's all the funnier when the climate of a game actually affects your health and the lady in the bikini is grinning on screen, as if she were lying on the beach!

Video Game Armor Logic3
Funny... but not really. (Image Credit: Reddit)

Anyway, have you ever seen how done-up female characters are all the time as well? It's like they're sitting in front of a mirror, curling their hair, applying perfect make-up, and enjoying a spa evening just before a battle of life and death! Gotta stay on fleek, right?

In comparison, the male colleagues look totally worn out! Dirty, torn clothes, 3-day beards....or 2-week beards!

But well... let's not be so strict. As a woman, I have to admit that we girls are also drooling when we see the well-built guys in games! And the scenes where the muscle-bound men are wearing their shirts... nom nom nom! But there's a difference between a Geralt of Rivia naked in the tub once in a while, and the permanent depiction of big-breasted, naked, alleged female warriors.

FF14 Wo L
You don't necessarily see much styling here. (Source: Final Fantasy XIV)

But the developers know: Sex Sells, always has and always will. Blizzard, Riot and Co: think of those poor Victoria Secret champs in your hero pools. It's damn cold in team fights and you can't get too warm in a fight either. It would be cool, if the xxs-size-wearing in-game girls didn't all have double-D cups as well. This is anatomically questionable and also disturbs the fight. And, in the end, all players want one thing: to win!

If you haven't had enough EarlyGame Talk, you should have a look here:

Paul Hayes

I did my BA in English Lit. and Language Studies at Western University in Canada and I use to play MTG competitively, but sadly to no success so I write instead! If a game doesn't challenge me, it's not the...