Jake and Logan Paul are a bunch of jackasses, and seriously unfunny. Perhaps they should take a queue from their namesake, and learn to be *actually* funny?
We have been a bit too serious over the last few weeks (well, over the last three weeks, last week I was unable to write a column), so I thought that maybe we would get a little quirky today. You've heard about the Paul brothers, right? You know, those two twits who run around carrying on like a couple of rich, spoiled brats? Those two blokes that are just so unbelievably easy to bag on that we can hardly resist? Yeah, those two. Have you heard of Paul, though? No? Well, it is a classic Simon Pegg and Nick Frost flick from 2011 featuring a stoner alien and a couple of nerds. Sounds great, doesn't it?
This is going to be a bit of a weird-ass column. Truly bizarre, if we're honest. I mean, giving a couple of comedians a guide - as a non-comedian - to how they could be more funny? That sounds a little ridiculous, doesn't it? Well, listen: these are the Paul brothers, they're millionaires, and they are most certainly not funny. In fact, if there was anyone who was more cringe than Kanye, it would be one of these two. What is funny, though, is a weed-smokin' alien with a propensity for butt-probing.
To be honest, I am not really sure where this concept is going to go, so you will need to stick with me. I don't even mean to be this mean to Jake and Logan Paul. To be honest, I was just chillin' with my sandwich, thinkin' about s**t whilst eating lunch and I realized... hey... I really feel like watching Paul right now. Then I thought, "hey, hang-on, I just wrote an article on Logan Paul like an hour ago". I put two-and-two together, and here we are. Here's the deal: don't expect anything to make sense, it's not going to make sense. It's going to make zero sense. The concept for this article makes no sense, so how do you expect anything in it to make sense? Look, you just read a two-hundred wordish paragraph that literally said nothing, so who's the sucker?
Anyway, in Paul there's this alien, and he's f**king hilarious. Voiced by Seth Rogan, Paul is said alien, he loves to smoke weed, and he has been influencing science fiction for like fifty years. You know Spielberg? Yeah, he stole all of his ideas from Paul. Then there are these two nerds - Simon Pegg and Nick Frost - who attended Comic Con in San Diego and are now roadtripping to all of those classic nerd-spots across the USA. They are British, and it's funny. They meet Paul, who has escaped from a Government facility, and end up on an absolutely ridiculous adventure filled with violence, a religious nut-bag, and a whole lotta weed. Okay, enough explaining, here's the trailer:
So how does this have anything to do with the Paul brothers? Well, it's a little complicated. Well, not really. The thing that it has to do with the Paul brothers can be explained twofold:
- They both have the name "Paul" in their name.
- Both are trying to be funny, but only one succeeds.
So here are a few lessons that the Paul brothers could learn from this classic early-2010s comedy. We'll keep it quick because, let's be real, this article is almost as much of a waste of time as watching a Jake Paul video. Let's get on with it.
The first thing I am going to say is that cheap gags are okay, but not as your entire bloody point. The Paul brothers, unlike Paul, saturate their content with utterly ridiculous and bulls**t stuff that it goes from being a quick laugh to being a lazy concoction of increasingly tedious, irrelevant, awkward, and cringe moments. Watching a Paul brothers video feels like you're actively tearing my hair out, and that is not the experience that you should really be aiming for if you want to incentivize people to actually watch your videos. Maybe you should use a little bit of wit, perhaps, something that requires a little more brain power than "huh, poo, lol". Honestly, these guys behave like 2-year-olds, and it is entertaining only as far as you can throw said 2-year-old (which, considering their success, seems to be a lot further than you would hope).
The second point I want to make is, it's okay to be entertaining, but you don't need to be a complete jackass to be entertaining. I mean, honestly guys, I know it's old news, but publishing the body of a man who has attempted suicide? That's pretty low-brow stuff. You can smoke as much dope as you want, drive fancy cars, whatever, but possibly work on developing content that actually tries to make some kind of point through it all. What message do the Paul brothers want to convey? It's pretty hard to fathom. All I can really discern is the somewhat disturbing belief that behaving like an idiot on-camera will make you buckets full of money? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps, you'd rather not live in a world where that is the prevailing reality, though, would you?
Look, I'm not trying to hate on the Paul brothers. They seem like two blokes who could really use a reality check, though. Maybe they should check out Paul, so that they can get a real sense of how they can stay cool, edgy and funny, all at the same time. Whilst not making us cringe. Whilst not, make us somehow wish we were listening to Kanye's most recent album. Honestly, guys, there's a lot to love on the internet. Watch the trailer for Paul, hell, watch the film, it's great. And please, please, please, if you're going to watch a Jake or Logan Paul Vlog, make sure you've gone to loo beforehand. They can really give you the s**ts. Okay, I'll stop now. Peace and love and all that jazz...
Oh, and could you answer me this on social media: did this article make any sense at all?
***
Other Columns that you should check out...
We Need More Linear Single-Player Games, and Less Open-Worlds
In Times Like These, Video Games Are Our Saviour
Horizon: Zero Dawn Was A Snooze-Fest, Yet I'm Hyped For Forbidden West