FromSoftware didn't send us an Elden Ring copy, but we're not ones to pout and b*tch. No, we get petty and steal from other websites.
So, Elden Ring is only a couple of months away, and it seems like everybody played it: Some got early copies, while others took part in the network testing. Us? Well, I got an email the other day from 'PR Hound' offering up a copy of Faraday Protocol, a first-person puzzle game. So, yeah, that's where I'm at.
Not to worry though: The internet is a beautiful platform, ripe for content stealing, so we don't need to play the game to give you our impressions, no, no, no, we only need to scour the internet:
Elden Ring Hands-On First Impressions
Redditor loves the game
u/captain_shindiggler played the network test and certifiably no-lived it, somehow getting 70 hours of gameplay, when the network test only opened up today. How is that possible? Because they are a group of people, dummy. Classic math test question.
[embed id=30195]
Polygon Got It Too. We Didn't.
Here's what Polygon had to say, summed up, so you don't ever have to visit their website again. Ever.
- Feels like Dark Souls 3, but bigger, and wider (insert dirty joke)
- Bonfire mechanic is there and called Sites of Grace
- Souls are there, but are called Runes
- You can summon other players
- Combat almost identical to Dark Souls 3
- Open-World rivals Breath of the Wild and Skyrim
- Game has typical FromSoftware difficulty, so if your a** is soft, just don't
- There is a lot of crafting
- You can hunt wildlife
- You can pick flowers, because, of course, I want to pick flowers in a game like Elden Ring
- You can have summons fight and die for you. #SummonsLivesMatter
[ad_placement]
Game Informer Got It Too. Reminder: We Didn't
Game Informer be like:
Elden Ring takes aspects of all of the previous Souls titles, Bloodborne, and even Sekiro, and turns them into something special inside a huge open world. Not to get too far away from its roots, core dungeon crawling is still very much a part of the experience, with a vast area to explore outside of the carefully curated looping levels. Explore with up to two other players, as well as a retinue of summonable spirits and your loyal spirit steed.
We be like: What does 'retinue' even mean. Damn. No wonder we didn't get a copy.
[ad_placement]
EarlyGame's Elden Ring Impressions
- Game sure looks cool.
- Sure did love the trailer.
- Sure did love reading about it.
- Sure can't wait.
- 10/10 anticipation, for sure
In case you forgot: Elden Ring releases on February 25, 2022, and it's coming to every system except for the Switch, because the Switch can't handle sh*t. If you wanna play it handheld, lucky you, the Steam Deck is coming out in February. The better Switch. Yeah, I said it.
[embed id=30197]